Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Way We Live

Before I started blogging, I was an active member of the GardenWeb forums.  I started over in the Kitchen forum during our kitchen remodel and eventually found my way over to the Home Decorating Forum.  The folks over at GardenWeb are generous and quick to help with any and all dilemmas ranging from 'what color should I paint this?' to 'what's the correct spacing of 4" can lights when using 60 watt bulbs?'  I still visit on occasion, drinking in the knowledge, but I don't post there as much as I used to.

One of GardenWebs reigning experts over on the Home Decorating forum is Magnaverde.  This painted faux leather sofa that has made the blog rounds  in the past and still is a much requested tutorial was created by Magnaverde.

Magnaverde oozes style and is in fact an interior designer with an actual name outside of the web, so when he gives you rules to live by you should listen.  One of his rules of interior design is:  Decorate for the way you live not the way you want to live.  Decorating for how you'd like to live is aspirational decorating and might work for a few days, but will most likely not work in the long run.

So this is how I'd like to live.  Bright Pink Formal Tufted Sofa.  Big Embellished Pillows. 

But in a houseful of rough and tumble boys this look wouldn't fly.

Okay, so no pink in the public parts of our house.  Still there's plenty of beauty to be found in more boy friendly colors.  I love this inspiration pic from Rate My Space.
I love the colors.  I think orange and green look fantastic together.  The tabletops have tasteful little vignettes and the walls hold carefully edited artwork.  Even the sofa's armshape is quite a bit similar to the ones in my living room.

So with this look as an inspiration, I've put together some tasteful little tabletop vignettes,
but the reality of the situation is I do have 2(3 if you count CG) boys messing up my LR on a regular basis.  This is a photo from this spring.  I was picking fabric swatches for my wingback chair and needed a reference pic for the sofa and area rug colors.
That would be shoes in the middle of the LR, toys on the floor, mail and a Lowe's bag on the coffee table, a lacrosse stick and gloves on the loveseat, and my(! yes I'm at fault, too) pocketbook on the coffee table.  Don't even get me started about socks.  There are no socks in this pic, but there are almost always dirty socks in my LR.  I don't understand.

This, too, is how we live.  A more recent photo.
You'll note this is a different lacrosse stick.  Peeking out from behind the sofa - moon sand.  And in the far back - a basketball arcade game.  We have basketball hoops in our living room.  Really.  How did this happen?  Last year, Santa brought Whirling Dervish this fantastic arcade style basketball game.  It has 2 hoops, electronic scoring, a myriad of different games to play, and differentiated 2 point vs 3 point scoring.  It was meant to go in the basement rec room.  The game stands 8' tall.  The basement is only 7'6".  Doh!  Counting in the arc a ball might take and you need 9' of clearance.

So this is how we live.  We've created a new mail center so hopefully mail won't pile up anymore.  I'm working on getting the boys(all 3) to put there shoes away when they come in.  I need help with solutions for the lacrosse gear that inevitably gets left out and my pocketbook needs a home.  So what works for you?  Retraining?  Baskets?  Drawers?  Some other type of dedicated solution?  Let me know what works for you and if you decorate for how you live or how you'd like to live.

7 comments:

  1. See, I got this system where if anybody mentions me, an alarm goes off so I can come & see if I won something. So far, that's been a fail but you never know, so I always check it out, just to make sure. I said something to somebody the other day about waiting for Ed Mc Mahon to show up with my big check, and they told me he died last year. That's what happens when you don't have a TV. You don't hear these things. Anyway, I guess the part about Ed being dead & all explains the delay in my check, although yesterday, I wouldn't have been surprised to see him peering in the windows, anyway. That's the kind of day I had.

    Anyway, thanks for the mention of my painted sofa, and Magnaverde Rule No. 16, although, these days, it's floating around as a misquote: Decorate for the life you really have, not the life you wish you had.. You may want a lifestyle you don't have, but it's still attainable: I want a cleaning woman to come in twice a week. Wishing, on the other hand, is just daydreaming--I wish I had a fulltime live-in maid & housekeeper. Figuring out how to save enough money--or earn enough extra--to afford a twice a week cleaning woman is doable, but buying a uniform for some hypothetical future maid would be not dealing with reality goofy. Wanting & wishing: two different things.

    OK, on to your living room: If you were a paying client--rather than a friend & fellow alum from Gardenweb--this is the advice I would have for your living room & all that messy evidence of an active, healthy family: enjoy it, since the chances that you can change other people's behavior are close to zero. Changing our own behaviour is hard enough, so don't make yourself crazy trying to get everybody else to clean up their acts. Aint't gonna happen. Sorry. So, as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, somebody's gotta tell the truth: baskets & drawers (despite what the makers of baskets & drawers will tell you) will sit empty while the toys & sports gear they're supposed to hold will stay right where they are.

    But applying magnaverde Rule No. 16 suggests another approach, and it's the same one that some insects use to hide from predators: protective coloration. That is, distraction. I see pillows on your sofa, but they're the same neutral tone as the sofa's upholsetery, and while your patterned rug has several colors, they're still fairly subdued. I also see large areas of blank wall space with nothing on them, all of which add up to a neutral background that throws the loud colors of the plastic toys & game equipment into high relief, and makes them the first thing you notice when you walk into the room, even though they're the smallest things in there. In a jeweler's window, the principle works to highlight the beauty of small colored stones, but here, it's working against you, making the toys the focal point of the whole area. And since it's not likely that they're going start making kids toys in sage, taupe & gray anytime soon, you can't wait around for that to happen, so why not fight fire with fire? Or, in this case, fight color with color? How about some zip-off slipcovers in bright-colored washable silk for your sofa's very sedate pillows? Some big abstract artwork in bright colors on the wall would also tip the balance in your favor. Maybe it's an abstract painting from an arts fair. Maybe it's a reproduction of a 192Os poster, when contrasting, almost garish, colors were the style. Maybe the glass bowl on the draped table could be red glass or canary yellow pottery instead.

    Sure, your sofa & your curtains & your walls are neutral colors, but that bright-against-dull colors was the standard approach in art museums for half a century. Matisse & Seurat were shown against white, Van Gogh & Cezanne against dove gray or mushroom. The contrast between background & foreground was the whole point.

    Continued...

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  2. ....continued

    Too, lighting could change the balance of power. With a bright-colored painting, why not add a a picture light, to make it spring to life even more? And add more stuff to your walls, not a bunch of black-&-white Pottery barn style photos in dark frames, but, in between, smaller pieces--a Wayne Thiebaud postcard from a museum shop, Andy Warhol's soupcans in aqua-7-orange or pink-&-kelly green, or an Edward Hopper in glowing colors--say "Chop Suey" or "Drugs".

    None of these things, of course, will make the kids pick up the toys, but it will make their bright colors vanish into the overall decor of the room, so that they're not the first thing you notice when you walk into the room. Like I always tell my friends with toddlers: pattern & color are the greatest labor-saving devices ever invented.

    Oh, and the lacrosse sticks? Just look at one of Ralph Lauren's horsey set ads. Tack stuff everywhere: polo mallets leaning in the corner of the marble-floored hall, helmets on the library window seat. In fact, look at all Ralph's ads. Yes, they're aspirational for some people--we can't all afford 18th century Irish consoles & gilt bronze lamps--but on the other hand, they're very practical, because they prove there's no need to hide the evidence of daily life. In fact, with enough interesting stuff going on in the background, a room can absorb just about anything, messy or not. This year, because of the big auction at Chatsworth in England, the Duchess of Devonshire has had a lot of press, but I remember a magazine article on her from 20 years ago, and one of the most striking photos was of a grand room she used as her office. The desk was totally covered with papers stacked a foot high, but because everything else in the room was so good looking, the desk didn't seem like an eyesore, just the center of a busy life. All that today's infatuation with "simple"--now there's a loaded word, for you--clutter-free rooms does is throw into high relief stuff that shouldn't be there. I don't know about you, but I prefer a decor that makes my life easier, not harder, one that covers a multitude of sins, not one that points out every flaw in my housekeeping. Anyway, with three guys at your house, you've got the same situation. Might as well acknowledge the fact and make it a little easier on yourself. Best wishes. M.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ....continued

    Too, lighting could change the balance of power. With a bright-colored painting, why not add a a picture light, to make it spring to life even more? And add more stuff to your walls, not a bunch of black-&-white Pottery barn style photos in dark frames, but, in between, smaller pieces--a Wayne Thiebaud postcard from a museum shop, Andy Warhol's soupcans in aqua-7-orange or pink-&-kelly green, or an Edward Hopper in glowing colors--say "Chop Suey" or "Drugs".

    None of these things, of course, will make the kids pick up the toys, but it will make their bright colors vanish into the overall decor of the room, so that they're not the first thing you notice when you walk into the room. Like I always tell my friends with toddlers: pattern & color are the greatest labor-saving devices ever invented.

    Oh, and the lacrosse sticks? Just look at one of Ralph Lauren's horsey set ads. Tack stuff everywhere: polo mallets leaning in the corner of the marble-floored hall, helmets on the library window seat. In fact, look at all Ralph's ads. Yes, they're aspirational for some people--we can't all afford 18th century Irish consoles & gilt bronze lamps--but on the other hand, they're very practical, because they prove there's no need to hide the evidence of daily life. In fact, with enough interesting stuff going on in the background, a room can absorb just about anything, messy or not. This year, because of the big auction at Chatsworth in England, the Duchess of Devonshire has had a lot of press, but I remember a magazine article on her from 20 years ago, and one of the most striking photos was of a grand room she used as her office. The desk was totally covered with papers stacked a foot high, but because everything else in the room was so good looking, the desk didn't seem like an eyesore, just the center of a busy life. All that today's infatuation with "simple"--now there's a loaded word, for you--clutter-free rooms does is throw into high relief stuff that shouldn't be there. I don't know about you, but I prefer a decor that makes my life easier, not harder, one that covers a multitude of sins, not one that points out every flaw in my housekeeping. Anyway, with three guys at your house, you've got the same situation. Might as well acknowledge the fact and make it a little easier on yourself. Best wishes. M.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Magnaverde, I just about swooned when I realized that you not only visited my little blog, but actually gave such a thoughtful response. I will definitely take your comments under advisement. My head is practically swimming with all the new ideas for artwork and pillows. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm a GW memeber as well...think of me as mjsee ;^)

    When my sons were your sons' ages I used to call a friend who also had boys and the first word out of my mouth after she said hello was often "SOCKS!" She always understood.

    I'm a little farther down the road--my sons are 22 and 25--and I, too, have Super Nerd husband (mine's an electrical engineer) and The Husband works from HOME. Sometimes I think the only thing that kept me sane, and those males alive, was our finished basement. That's where The Husband's office is. That's where The Penile Colony (Rumpus Room--made the boys hang out there)is.

    Both of the kids preferred to do their (non-computer) homework on my dining room table. The Husband thinks all horizontal surfaces are filing surfaces...and you should SEE the sideboard that lives in my front hall. STACKS of mail. (We are both visual organizers...so the bills must stay somewhere we can see them. "Out of site out of mind" is a truth at our house.)

    Still...everyone seems comfortable in our home, and it was the main hang-out when the kids were in their teens. And when they are home from college/grad school on visits it's STILL the hang-out. My point is--I'm with MV. Embrace the clutter. And if you can set up one room (other than the LR) with a comfy sofa, a decent tv, and the gaming system of your sons' choice, THAT will be where they hang out. But their socks will still end up in the LR.

    I don't get that either.

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  6. Melanie, we're doppelgangers separated by just a few years. DH also works from home in the dungeon, er basement. It's also where his office is. I take comfort in that you still have the hangout house even in the college years. We're currently the hangout house and it'd be nice for that to continue.

    ReplyDelete
  7. laxsupermom...please don't hate me when your "wild child" (if you have two boys, one of them WILL be a wild child) is in HS and you are the hangout house. It gets...interesting. And LOUD.

    ;^)

    ReplyDelete

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